Madeline The Great

I made a word cloud out of this blog and the results surprised me. There are so many words that I never would have thought would have shown up or would be so big. Take a look for yourself.
http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/518075/madelinethegreat

It has been a complete year. I wish I could say that it has been a comlete regenesis but that would be a lie and I detest those. It has been a full year since the panic attack/breakdown and so very very many things have happened. I think after this year I can honestly say that I have become a better person but at great cost. A year in which I lost so very very many people I loved, dealt with long buried issues, fell in love and got rejected. A year in which I cried more times that I can count, honestly connected with other people and had my heart broken again and again. This was the worst year of my life, which hasnt exactly been a gem. I am making the best of it. I have made strides this year in the hardest ways possible I am now a stronger, ultimately happier individual. I am still all the things that made me great before loving, kind, funny, intelligent and warm but now I can proudly say that I am for once also not too trusting, performing the mommy function, and am gaining some social aptitude. Though I am nowhere near perfect at any of these skills I am bettering myself. THis year has been incredibly painful for me and I can admit that while writing this its impossible to hold back tears. I can only sincerly hope that all of this will make me stronger and that my life in the future will be better. Whats funny is that when I was in high school I had always hoped that only good times were ahead because I had been through my lifetime's allotment of horrible things. This was not what was in store for me. If you have stuck with me through all of this I really appreciate it. I know me changing was probably difficult for you. I am trying to keep to all of my life changes even though it is hard. My resolutions are also something I have to stick to. I don't know what else to say. This year has just been so hard and writing this note makes me feel like such a whiny goddamn cunt. But I cant help it. I still often feel really really deeply depressed even though my life changes are helping me. There is so much more left to do that I am so scared.

ORGIES!!!!!!! just kidding its resolution time but orgies may be part of that ;) more on that later. Here is my list of resolutions for the new year.
1) Loose 60 lbs to put it out there I started at 240 and 6'1" If you do the BMI its slightly obese and that is disgusting and completely my fault cause I just let shit go completely.
2) Let everything that happened in this circle jerk clusterfuck of a year and the one before go. That means no negative mentions of or being jerked aroung by the following pple: Shanna, Sam, CP, Pierce and probably others that I cant think of. They shall cause me pain no longer.
3) Take better care of myself. This mean no more tshirts and frizzy ponytail to class all the time. Keep nails painted. Generally just be more girly outwardly.
4) Make at least 3 new actual friends. I need to stop being such a total fucking social goddamn retard and interact with people.
5) Have a Sunday routine. Go to a movie every sunday update this site and read 30 pages from a book I actually enjoy. Routine is good for the soul if it happens one day a week and since I dont go to church or anything doing 2 or my fav activites isnt a bad idea.
6) Get a fucking bf. Not a dude I fall in love with without dating or a not yet out of the closet gay dude. Find someone I can care about and date. Which relates to 7
7) No mo virgin. Its time to grow up in a sexual manner. I am a very sexual person and its not appropriate to just get down with myself anymore. I want the first to be someone I can remember and have good memories with. After that, well... I have a feeling that I may turn into a bit of a whore. That isnt nescessarily a bad thing either. Tee hee.
8) Psychologically get better. I am still depressed but working out the shit which is part of the process but it needs to be done with. Being a mess is just not good practice.
9) Better grades. After the whole depression thing my grades plummeted from what I used to get. It shall be straight A's again not straight B's. My fucking gpa sucks.
Goddamnit MY LIFE WILL BE BETTER!!!! I AM CAPABLE OF DOING ALL OF THIS!!!! LET THE NEW YEAR MOTHERFUCKING BEGIN!!!!! THIS SHIT IS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also I was on the jamhole today. Go to thejamhole.com and download their latest episode. They are an awesome podcast and such. You should listen to them even if I wasnt on there.

also check out this website.

I am sorry I havent posted in a week or so. I have been lazing around my parents house and havent been motivated to do much of anything. I think that I will only be posting whenever I feel like it and less like a job. I am a college student and have more important things to do. However there are a few things that you should know about. I changed the layout and stuff because it was irriating me and taking the webpage far too fucking long to load. I have a new theme song thanks to MC Chris. Nrrrd Grrrl. Its essentially an anthem to me a gals like me. I have been watching movies in order to escape my family in addition to all episodes of Rock of Love Charm School that were out so far. That for sure brought the lols. I liked all of the movies that I saw so I will just list them and encourage you to see them. Eastern Promises, Blood:The Last Vampire, Word Wars, The Day The Earth Stood Still (good 1950's version), Waterworld, and Mommie Dearest. I will no doubt watch many more movies in the coming days and I will let you know how much I like them.

Your result for The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test...

Pure Nerd

78 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 30% Dork

OK. So today is a beauty day so I am doing the whole pretty thing. Anyway I am waiting for my nails to dry so I was surfing, yes I am that good not to get polish on my computer, and found this delicious-ness. IT BRINGS THE LOLS HARDCORE. I TURNED INTO A LOLICOPTER!!!!! Also, I found this cover of the terrible song called Womanizer by Lily Allen. She is in my top 5 artists so judge me or whatever.

Whenever the end of the eyar comes there are always these top ten lists of whatever you want. I have posted some of my favorite viral videos of the year that you might not have seen.

Catching up on old daily show episodes I found this interesting. Huckabee is sooooo owned!

No it is not enough for the MPAA to control movies and to squelch all creativity out of them just because they are stuck up CUNTS!!!!!! They now want to conrol the internet also. Read this and have your head blown HARDCORE. If Obama actually does this I dont know what I will do I will probably flip 10 different shits and then repeatedly yell cock and fuck.
ANYWAYS...
I watched some mo movies yesterday and today.
Go- CRAP HARDCORE. ITs a cult movie that is highly reccomended and I just dont get why its so fucking awesome. From now on bad movies get no quotes. So no quote for you Go. How about you go suck a cock?!
Machinist- I couldnt finish it. I have had it at my house for like 2 months from netflix. I kept trying to watch it and thought I just wasnt in the mood. NOT TRUE it is just icky and gross and confusing. Not a fan.
No good movies so far. but watch this video clip of this super cute girl.


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.